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Now in theaters, but only those old dirty ones across town with like 1 screen

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Pokémon and Rocky Horror and swears 

Fuckin’ Columbia-ass Owl Demon

Watch the film critics are calling “I want to eat at Taco Bell” and “I am far too weak for this”

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How is it that the last ~3 weeks of every year somehow manages to veer off into the surreal?

Can you imagine how hard it is to be a child today? There are 898 Pokémon now and you have to have them all memorized by the time you get into the day care that will coach you to get into Stanford.

Haha yeah I get to spend all night assembling everything my mom sent my kid via Amazon (did you get the constant stream of boxes over the last 90 days????) because now my wife is mad it’s Christmas and we have a pile of fucking boxes.

Just gonna develop an ecommerce site that doesn't actually sell anything and pretend it's a weird Papers Please style video game

Probably the best thing about hallucinating shadow people in an extended fever dream is having your lizard brain reveal to you every place it fears shadow people could infiltrate your house

As the token Indian household on the block we are obligated to go all out for Holi and Diwali every year

“How do you feel about NerdWallet going public?”
“Well, nobody I know actually bought their options”

Figured out how to do some interesting tricks using Porter-Duff blends. Someday I will be a real game programmer!

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Toot! A Jason Scheirer Instance

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