Show newer

South Dakoturrency

Did you know you can just type into this box and strangers have to read it? It's probably not a good idea to let me type into this make angry strangers box!


I'm a joy to work with and a consummate professional in my commit messages

I need to buy all the jeggings to make prototype jean jegging jorts

(jean jean jegging jorts [jean jean jean jegging jean shorts (jean jean jean jean legging jean jean short jeans)])

Show thread

Here’s a tip Big Fire doesn’t want you to know: if there’s a fire in your house, bring a branch or other long, flammable item and set it alight with the flame inside and then take it outside. The rest of the fire will follow it out and boom, no more house fire!

I don't know if it's the fact that it's "blockchain" based, the prevalence of banned YouTubers, cryptocurrency bros, and NoFappers on it or their incompetently served email campaigns but I can't help but think Odysee is a giant clown car of weird libertarians who are (thankfully) left to their own devices far away from polite society.

Yes, smooth jazz musician Yanni lives in a castle full of tricks, traps and riddles, each one more fiendish than the last. Choose correctly and you shall share his fortune. Choose incorrectly and it could cost you your LIFE!

Show thread

If you lived through the ska revival of the late 90s you gain a certain sense of perspective and aren't fazed by _any_ other revival.

Sousa Marching Band explosion on everyone's Spotify? Yes.

Jamming out to some square dancing? Ok!

Hybrid smooth jazz/rap? Bring it on, Yanni needs those dollars for his murder castle.

Yeah no we liked people jumping and playing the trombone and asking to pick things up off the ground; the garbage music you're "bringing back" is already sounding pretty good.

"I said, certified freak/Seven days a week"? How about "I said, Jesus I seek/Seven days a week"?

Always remember the original WAP: "Willingly, always praying"


It's gotta be SO EASY to be a youth pastor.

CW dogs with human toes 

I had a dream where my dog had human toes and it was gross

I love my three children: Joshothy, McFlurry and The Destroying Angel

How did I get my job writing for SNL? Well, an awesome portfolio of written material. (Holds up folder, opens to reveal it has a single piece of paper with the phrase “Döner Kebab” crossed out and the phrase “Böner Kebab” highlighted and underlined*

A very serious message from a Millennial to Gen Z 

Hey guys, how’s it going? Wanna go down to the 7/11 and smash glass behind the dumpster?

Show older
Toot! A Jason Scheirer Instance

The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!