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Mr Sandman
Give me a sand
Just one sand
Please just one sand
Why would I want
All of that sand

Here’s a fun demonic creature my dumb brain game up with during a dream: goose body, goat head, talons.

*petting my dog, getting close to the ear* oh god, is that... *feels a familiar round, plump shape* ...how did you get a tick? You’re an inside dog! *fishing it out of the fur* ...it’s a pinto bean! You have beans matted in your dang fur!

If I were ever verging on the edge of entering a depressive episode I would simply choose not to

important toot.jasonscheirer.com instance news 

I’m like a bird
I’ll only sit on eggs
I don’t know where my nest is
Gather straw and I’ll build it

I am doing polls right!

If I were accused of being the coolest thing on two wheels on my instance I would simply embrace it, and be the coolest thing on two wheels.

It is Saturday night my dudes. Time to get fucked up at the BAR*.

Beans
And
Rice

The 💅🏻 makes sense because I use it ironically so much, but I don’t recall using 🌹 any time recently

lazy tv camera shots 

Upgraded to the Mastodon 2.9rc1 build on my local instance. The simplified UI takes away a lot of my complaints that caused me to use third-party clients in the past.

If I were an underqualified nuclear engineer in Ukraine and I was ordered to press the AZ-5 button during a routine safety exercise, I simply would choose not to.

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Toot! A Jason Scheirer Instance

This is my instance.