Where there was only one set of footprintsThat's where I found this sick ass dirtbike and rode away, nerrrrrrrd
Mr SandmanGive me a sandJust one sandPlease just one sandWhy would I wantAll of that sand
1. Cop2. Weirdo3. Nerd
Here’s a fun demonic creature my dumb brain game up with during a dream: goose body, goat head, talons.
Malaysian food: you should try it
*petting my dog, getting close to the ear* oh god, is that... *feels a familiar round, plump shape* ...how did you get a tick? You’re an inside dog! *fishing it out of the fur* ...it’s a pinto bean! You have beans matted in your dang fur!
If I were ever verging on the edge of entering a depressive episode I would simply choose not to
I dream of barge ownership
Oops! All styrofoam packing peanuts!
important toot.jasonscheirer.com instance news Show more
Pee pee poo poo
Beef, n., plural beeves
I’m like a birdI’ll only sit on eggsI don’t know where my nest isGather straw and I’ll build it
I am doing polls right!
If I were accused of being the coolest thing on two wheels on my instance I would simply embrace it, and be the coolest thing on two wheels.
It is Saturday night my dudes. Time to get fucked up at the BAR*.
The 💅🏻 makes sense because I use it ironically so much, but I don’t recall using 🌹 any time recently
lazy tv camera shots Show more
Apparently this show is about a senile Julie Andrews having a harder and harder time distinguishing the real humans who love her and the strange puppets she is hallucinating?
Upgraded to the Mastodon 2.9rc1 build on my local instance. The simplified UI takes away a lot of my complaints that caused me to use third-party clients in the past.
FOSS (Free/Open Source moss)
If I were an underqualified nuclear engineer in Ukraine and I was ordered to press the AZ-5 button during a routine safety exercise, I simply would choose not to.
This is my instance.