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I’ve seen two pairs of baby shoes on my feed. Let’s get this baby shoes train going!

Just discovered my cache of Depressed Sad Bastard Music on my iPod and you bet your ass I'm going to relive those lost Zoloft years of 2010-2014 right here at my desk at work

why doesnt this boy seem to like me. are my antlers not impressive enough. are my scales lackluster. are the phosphorescent bands along my ventral side too dim

It smells like orange blossoms here in inland SoCal and it’s delightful

everyone please stop DMing me about 101 Dalmatians. there were 103 dogs as the title did not contemplate the parents. you all sound like clowns to me. clowns!

millennials are killing baby names. they all share a hoard of indistinguishable children. child free is no longer a concept

hey buddy! way to look like an otter who got his face caught in a kazoo! schmuck!

@healyn look at this albert einstein lookin motherfucker, you look like a dog fucked a nerd. go eat a leaf.

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I keep leaving my phone in the hotel room because I have been spending so much time in the pool and I don’t want to drop my phone in the pool

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Toot! A Jason Scheirer Instance

This is my instance.