@geesehoward oh my god you just said an “I’m an old person” thing and managed to make it older

@wandrew I mean there were a lot of them, it would have taken at least 6 spaceships.

I did not brace myself for the fact that getting my yearly dumpster from the county would be the unifying event for the block, welcome to old

Holy fuck, this is the best excuse to never visit my in-laws: “I can’t fly to Texas, I deleted a comment once so I’ll be arrested at the airport”

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Countering the Texas law by making every comments section non-functional and effectively fixing the internet

The older I get, the more likely I am to cry real tears when LCD Soundsystem’s _All My Friends_ plays.

@heartles Used to call myself the human battery at work because of all the lithium I take until they told me to cut it out

@selfsame “Liberating mangos,” while seemingly a pornographic phrase, is actually your moral imperative

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Toot! A Jason Scheirer Instance

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