Jason Scheirer @jasonscheirer@toot.jasonscheirer.com

It’s unethical and irresponsible to diagnose someone who is not your patient, Twitter

*yelling Italianly* boppity boopity

Yes, for my...son. Yes.

Perk-et about it

*hastily composing resignation email* I’ve found a new line of work!

This dog enjoys the sun

We made milk buns and spicy tuna and spicy salmon and then put the spicy boys in hand rolls last night and the milk buns just directly into our mouths

The best part about on-call are the slightly misconfigured alerts

Anyhoo, enjoy my small dog, she’s garbage. I did one of those vanity breed genetics tests as a Christmas gift for my wife before we had a kid and I was therefore beholden to performatively spend money in a creative way each December. She’s spaniel, poodle, chihuahua, and Maltese.

This is the worst thing I’ve seen today

“Hey Jason, what’s the best thing about the Mexican bakery down the street?”

Me: chanting “concha” for 16 hours, completely dead eyes

My love for you is like a truck

The lady whose stand up routine is “who got cum on the roomba” took my suggestion

I definitely don’t need to know this

Adding a shit ton of cheese is a game changer

Getting there

This is not a metaphor or any sort of allegory. I am waiting for the meatloaf.

How do you be normal and dark?

Here ya go. Here it is.

Woo