Anyhoo, enjoy my small dog, she’s garbage. I did one of those vanity breed genetics tests as a Christmas gift for my wife before we had a kid and I was therefore beholden to performatively spend money in a creative way each December. She’s spaniel, poodle, chihuahua, and Maltese.

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Homer Simpson having sex with a minion for some reason 

“Hey Jason, what’s the best thing about the Mexican bakery down the street?”

Me: chanting “concha” for 16 hours, completely dead eyes

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Toot! A Jason Scheirer Instance

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