Jason Scheirer @jasonscheirer@toot.jasonscheirer.com

@jasonscheirer but i'm just two hole punches away from a free one!!

ok but this was a family website. I log on, I post butt

Its my birthday. I woke up hungover in this house with this staring at me from across the room.

God-tier shitpost in the kids’ book section once again

I want to be less of a replyguy in theory but I also want to TALK to PEOPLE

Fave book of the new instance

me: working from home gives me the opportunity to focus on tasks free from the the distractions of a noisy office!

brain:

TROUT

TROUT

LET IT ALL OUT

THESE ARE THE FISH I CAN DO WITHOUT

SALMON

I’M TALKING TO YOU

SALMON

me: cool never mind

Fans of archetype-themed rap music, also known as Jungalos,

Shooing away the celebrity gossip salesman from my door but he sticks his shoe in and yells "BUT I HAVE NEWS FROM RICHARD E GRANT ABOUT JULIANNE MOORE GETTING FIRED FOR REFUSING TO WEAR A FALSE NOSE AND FATSUIT"

I am powerless to resist
https://themuse.jezebel.com/richard-e-grant-says-julianne-moore-was-fired-from-can-1833460525

People keep asking “what is piss restaurant”? Folks, it’s right there in the name.

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April 1st: April Fools Day
May 1st: Maypril Fools Day
June 1st: Jaypril Fools Day
Jul

@citrustwee oi m8s its me birfday can i get sum bewsts

@Absolutely_Blakely citizen kane is art which unifies people on the shared human experience of taking a film class

pronouncing pineapple like minneapolis

is Blink 182 any good if i havent listened to Blinks 1-181?