Jason Scheirer @jasonscheirer@toot.jasonscheirer.com

I am doing polls right!

If I were accused of being the coolest thing on two wheels on my instance I would simply embrace it, and be the coolest thing on two wheels.

It is Saturday night my dudes. Time to get fucked up at the BAR*.

Beans
And
Rice

The 💅🏻 makes sense because I use it ironically so much, but I don’t recall using 🌹 any time recently

Upgraded to the Mastodon 2.9rc1 build on my local instance. The simplified UI takes away a lot of my complaints that caused me to use third-party clients in the past.

FOSS (Free/Open Source moss)

If I were an underqualified nuclear engineer in Ukraine and I was ordered to press the AZ-5 button during a routine safety exercise, I simply would choose not to.

Tuesday again?

‪On call, 10:30 PM Sunday (10 hours away from going off)‬

‪“We’re getting vulnerability scanned by a particular IP can you block it”‬
“Yeah no problem”
“What you did broke everything else”
(Looks at IP)
“That’s because you had me block the internal network from itself”
“Well now someone else is mad at you”
Monday, 12:99 AM
“I reverted the block, fix your thing in the AMto trigger less”
“Now we’re madder at you”

*2 calendar invites: “why you broke our shit” and “why you refuse to fix our shit”*

“I am not going to dive into a pool of knives at all”

@cryptoad welcome to cryptids

That sounds delightful, Swarm, but I’ve got things to do.

I’m sorry to announce that after consulting with my family and my large angry god that I have decided not to run for president of the United States in the 2020 election.

We were visiting a fancy place and I had to go poop. I took a giant splattery dump in a toilet and it wouldn’t flush. My wife then informed me that it was a decorative toilet and I should be ashamed for having to poop in such a nice place.

I just copied all the knzk emoji onto my instance so they'll be findable on the fediverse in the future.

If you're an instance admin and want to copy a bunch of emojis at once, go to /admin/custom_emojis. Do your search, then to copy every emoji on that page enter in the following into the JS console:

const csrf = [...document.getElementsByTagName('meta')].filter(m => m.getAttribute("name") == "csrf-token").map(m => m.getAttribute("content"))[0]

[... document.getElementsByTagName('a')].filter(n => n.text == 'Copy').map(n => fetch(n.href, {method: 'POST', headers: {'Content-Type': 'application/x-www-form-urlencoded'}, body: new URLSearchParams({_method: 'post', authenticity_token: csrf})}).then(r => console.log(r.url, r.ok)))

When the console stops counting it's copied all the emoji from that page.

. .

Ah yes, the bar full of rats. Full of rats on purpose. Yes, that is what I wanted. A rats bar. https://www.sfchronicle.com/food/article/Rat-infested-pop-up-bar-to-open-in-San-Francisco-13907463.php

God damn this is depressing: https://eand.co/why-dont-americans-know-how-to-think-clearly-about-capitalism-18d85e54e8f0