Pinned toot

First day titles on the next gen Nintendo console:

• Donkey Kong reboot
• Shenmue 4
• Mario is Missing! 2
• Cooking Mama Ultimate Collection
• Kirby: Waffle Stomp
• Capcom vs. Tetris
• Wario in Prison
• Bisbee, Arizona Games

Their response the superior hardware of the next gen is the same Nintendo quality gameplay we’ve come to love.

Hello, my name is Gorpgorp or whatever. Oscar the Grouch married a rabbit with alopecia and birthed our species. We are magic frog fairies who like to use brain magic to move metal around. We don’t have much to say but love attention so we turn every sentence into an irritating riddle.

I don’t think I’m smart enough to write a fast enough voxel renderer in Lua to handle 100+ on screen at once at 60fps so I’m gonna just prerender them at load time as spritesheets from 32 directions and fake it.

Putting wheels on a Oscar the Grouch style metal trash can and riding it down the hills of San Francisco, pursued by coyotes

White liberal bullshit 

Not understanding why the landscaper brings his whole family with him to the job and getting offended when he refuses to let his kids in the house to eat candy and watch cartoons while he works

Show thread

White liberal bullshit 

Telling my Saudi neighbors I love Indian food

Show thread

White liberal bullshit 

Subscribing to a learn Portuguese podcast after trying to tell my housekeepers what to do in Spanish and learning they’re Brazilian

Show thread

White liberal bullshit 

Hiding in the constellation of sponsor logos on my lacrosse team jersey

Show thread

White liberal bullshit 

Sending a strongly worded letter to an Asian-owned business because their name uses the word ‘Oriental’

Show thread

I am trying to think of the whitest liberal shit possible

Electrocuted myself twice and got a face full of sewage today, glad I left my previous apartment to live in an old building with a negligent landlord to save money.

Syrup 

Hi I'm sticky with syrup as I am a traditional dessert

Wearing a kilt, a cummerbund, suspenders, and a crop top with a picture of snow white smoking a joint on the front.

We have been informed that everyone in the office is to clear their desk by November 26th because we are going fully remote.

Come join my livestream as I play “display settings control panel” for 3 hours!

Keep honking, I'm also honking, we're all honking and hoping something happens

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but: BLACKPINK in your area.

I played Minecraft last night! I set up an HDMI switcher on my work desk so I can pretend I’m working while using my personal laptop.

Show more
Toot! A Jason Scheirer Instance

The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!