I miss the real pbandkate. the bot was a reasonable substitute for a little while

Hi my name is Bike Safety and I’m here to teach you how to be careful around fireworks

Periodic reminder that “esports” is pronounced “eh-sporrrrts” like you’re saying the word sports with an over-the-top accent

Movie chat; light spoilers (Parasite) 

Hi, I’m Rod Huggerson and I’m here to teach you about complying with your corporate sexual harassment policy

Hello I am Gorp “Fats” Chubman and I am a real person really named that here to, weirdly enough, talk about healthy eating habits

I did a survey of the Mastodon community and it is widely agreed that I am “handsome” and “brains are good haver”

I’m having a lovely afternoon at home with my family

Fuck you, I’m an American and I will flush several bath towels as it is my right

*eyes pan over to cartoon of Hitler*

I’d best rethink my life

Food $300
Utilities $175
Balloons $155
Body painting tiger stripes onto my body weekly $7500

Can someone who is good at the economy etc

Coating my gross nude body in flour, basting myself in a light egg wash, and rolling around on a quarter-inch thick layer of breadcrumbs, as a bit

Remember you have another 3 weeks to buy one year of Mastodon Prime Gold at the discounted rate of $79.99. Otherwise it’s gonna cost you $99.99 to toot for the rest of the year like a sucker.

:promoted: Promoted by Mastodon: The Social Network That is Eighty Dollars

Warning labels like this are what gets kids involved in the casual abuse of prescription medications

Today I learned that the video game CAPCOM gets its name from the phrase SErvice and GAmes

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Toot! A Jason Scheirer Instance

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