Jason Scheirer @jasonscheirer@toot.jasonscheirer.com

Late at night is when I miss pbandkate the most

I wanna gonk you like an animal

I miss the real pbandkate. the bot was a reasonable substitute for a little while

Hi my name is Bike Safety and I’m here to teach you how to be careful around fireworks

Periodic reminder that “esports” is pronounced “eh-sporrrrts” like you’re saying the word sports with an over-the-top accent

I can’t be the only person whose eyes went wide and lustily started chanting “yes...yeeeeessss...” during the garden party scene in Parasite, right?

Hi, I’m Rod Huggerson and I’m here to teach you about complying with your corporate sexual harassment policy

Hello I am Gorp “Fats” Chubman and I am a real person really named that here to, weirdly enough, talk about healthy eating habits

I did a survey of the Mastodon community and it is widely agreed that I am “handsome” and “brains are good haver”

I’m having a lovely afternoon at home with my family

Fuck you, I’m an American and I will flush several bath towels as it is my right

*eyes pan over to cartoon of Hitler*

I’d best rethink my life

Food $300
Utilities $175
Balloons $155
Body painting tiger stripes onto my body weekly $7500

Can someone who is good at the economy etc

git commit -m "Honhonhon oui oui"

Coating my gross nude body in flour, basting myself in a light egg wash, and rolling around on a quarter-inch thick layer of breadcrumbs, as a bit

Carrot top magic powers

Remember you have another 3 weeks to buy one year of Mastodon Prime Gold at the discounted rate of $79.99. Otherwise it’s gonna cost you $99.99 to toot for the rest of the year like a sucker.

Promoted by Mastodon: The Social Network That is Eighty Dollars

Warning labels like this are what gets kids involved in the casual abuse of prescription medications

Asiago Airlines

Today I learned that the video game CAPCOM gets its name from the phrase SErvice and GAmes

Adult men wearing overalls