Jason Scheirer @jasonscheirer@toot.jasonscheirer.com

First day titles on the next gen Nintendo console:

• Donkey Kong reboot
• Shenmue 4
• Mario is Missing! 2
• Cooking Mama Ultimate Collection
• Kirby: Waffle Stomp
• Capcom vs. Tetris
• Wario in Prison
• Bisbee, Arizona Games

Their response the superior hardware of the next gen is the same Nintendo quality gameplay we’ve come to love.

Hello, my name is Gorpgorp or whatever. Oscar the Grouch married a rabbit with alopecia and birthed our species. We are magic frog fairies who like to use brain magic to move metal around. We don’t have much to say but love attention so we turn every sentence into an irritating riddle.

I don’t think I’m smart enough to write a fast enough voxel renderer in Lua to handle 100+ on screen at once at 60fps so I’m gonna just prerender them at load time as spritesheets from 32 directions and fake it.

Not understanding why the landscaper brings his whole family with him to the job and getting offended when he refuses to let his kids in the house to eat candy and watch cartoons while he works

Telling my Saudi neighbors I love Indian food

Subscribing to a learn Portuguese podcast after trying to tell my housekeepers what to do in Spanish and learning they’re Brazilian

Hiding #blm in the constellation of sponsor logos on my lacrosse team jersey

Sending a strongly worded letter to an Asian-owned business because their name uses the word ‘Oriental’

I am trying to think of the whitest liberal shit possible

Eleven days a week, four hours a day

Come join my livestream as I play “display settings control panel” for 3 hours!

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but: BLACKPINK in your area.