Jason Scheirer @jasonscheirer@toot.jasonscheirer.com
- Pronouns
- he etc
- Secrets?
- Yes, very deep and mysterious past
- Cool?
- Extremely
Admin
Where there was only one set of footprints
That's where I found this sick ass dirtbike and rode away, nerrrrrrrd
NOTE
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Joined Dec 2018
Pinned toot
After Ratatouille was released in theaters, it became law in 38 states that all traps must have tiny propane grills and spice racks placed next to them so as to distract/spare any rats with any cooking aptitude. It’s referred to as “Remy’s Law” in most places and was the direct outcome of an organized, nationwide letter writing campaign.
Pinned toot
Stop eating what you're eating and throw it out the window right now! It'll be fun!
Sponsored by raccoons
Sent a link to Two Trucks on the work Slack before noon, guess I'm already done for the day
Thinking back to my trip to Korea a few years ago and remembering my favorite person was this guy that stopped me on the street and with all of his 20-years-ago-high-school-English mustered the sentence "you...are...very...fat!" and I grabbed my stomach and laughed and he laughed and then we went our separate ways.
Ginger Ale
A ginger ale sounds good right now
Making my fortune with the 66% keyboard, a 65% keyboard with separate escape/~ keys
Getting old is neat in that staying out at the neighbor's house until 11:00 and splitting a bottle of wine results in spectacular tummy troubles and exhaustion the next day
Awake at 2:45 AM AMA but be aware I will probably be asleep in 5 minutes
I’m sorry, you’re talking to someone who beat the Kim Kardashian: Hollywood app *twice* out of spite. I’m too fabulous for this shit.
My new hit single “Knee Deep in your Eyes, Elbow Deep in your Heart”
1 mile of walking = 10 minutes of uncontrolled diarrhea when you get home
MH
My psychiatrist was a little unnerved that I was 1) prepared with notes 2) mentally running on all cylinders at 7:30 AM and I’m all 1) I am mentally ill 2) a dad
"Lol your anti-anti-vaxx positions are just ad hominem attacks"
Yeah I TRIED to reason with you but your BRAIN is ROTTEN with PERFORMATIVE CONSERVATISM and I have a BREAKING POINT for pretending to THINK YOU HAVE A DECENT POINT
It is my civic responsibility in a liberal democracy to fill these Old Navy jeans with large man ass
Y’all motherfuckers gonna be sorry when Jesus gets back from Valhalla and makes you pay for all those stolen ketchup packets
Expired: Swearing
Tired: Swearing in Spanish
Wired: Swearing in Spanish, but changing the spelling and insisting it’s Portuguese
Jason is short for Jasambruary
There are only two languages in the Star Wars universe: English and Italian. This is canon.
Chicken prison
Dissolved gases in liquid? You bet!
- Pronouns
- he etc
- Secrets?
- Yes, very deep and mysterious past
- Cool?
- Extremely
Admin
Where there was only one set of footprints
That's where I found this sick ass dirtbike and rode away, nerrrrrrrd
NOTE
Click to add note
Joined Dec 2018
